Passing in a Fraternity
I am a junior currently at the University of Connecticut. Tonight my fraternity honored the members that were graduating with their various degrees and moving on with their lives. I did some self reflection as I saw them say their good byes….Here’s what I came up with:
I really need to start allowing myself to have fun. I sort of have this pseudo-permission complex, which is where I never really give myself the OK to do something. This proliferates into extreme guilt that is so gut wrenching, depressing, and nauseating that I usually end up having nervous break downs. I really need to calm the fuck down, live life, and let things be. I need to keep it PLUR….because in reality, there are way worse things that I could be doing with my time that most people have no guilt about (drinking/doing drugs all the time, disrespecting women/property/friendships, etc.) I guess I’m not that bad of a guy after all…
I am absolutely positively the most happy with my relationship. One of the brothers said that being in love with his girl friend for six years with all of the lows and highs that are associated with this relationship was and is the best part of his life. This brother also stated that making sacrifices for something bigger than yourself is an experience that makes life meaningful, and I couldn’t agree with him more. I’ve only been with Emma for three and a half years (almost four). I say only because in the grand scheme of things I hope that this number is microscopic relative to the future numbers I hope to accumulate. Have I sacrificed a lot? I mean, I wouldn’t say I’ve really sacrificed much…some of my brothers think that me dating a lady as incredible as Emma is absurd because “WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE WIFED UP WHEN YOU CAN CRUSH PUSS LIKE A REAL FRAT STAR!” My response to this is always: Why would you not want to experience true love? In my philosophy class we are studying the meaning of life. I think the meaning of life is to experience love. Love is the accumulation of every emotion experienced, and if it is shared between two people, it is what delivers meaning to both individual lives. If you ask me, being in love with Emma Hannan is priceless. I would do anything for that girl.
I’m tired and starting to ramble. Self reflection is important, though.